It's hard to believe it's been a year since I last posted on here.
Okay, maybe not to some...
A big part of being in lurker status for so long was due to my job. Well, that changed this year.
And, oh my gosh, how things changed! I stepped down from being a supervisor. The stress and hours and constant pressure from staff and bosses just got to be too much.
I'd work until I'd crash, take time to recover and then work would ramp up until I'd crash again. The constant crashes were destroying my health and making me so darned depressed, it affected
everything in my life. My (lack of) writing, my creativity, my
dreams... my few times RPing probably got a bit more emo than my RPing partner liked.
Being sick so often was a drain on my body and my vacation time. As much as I needed an honest-to-goodness vacation, I was burning time with doctors and being out sick.
After some heart-to-hearts with HR and my boss, and a few attempts at interviews, I finally made the move to being a technical writer. I love the department I'm in now, and I've accomplished so much more here than I
ever could have as a supervisor.
Looking back, I can see how I pulled into myself and shut others out (like I did when I was younger). Part of me gets angry that I didn't make the changes to my life sooner.
I've always been hesitant to take that big leap that I need to take, and I always regret it after. I beat myself up about these kinds of things, despite the fact that sometimes its due to something that's out of my control. It took a
lot of tries to get where I am...
I made a promise to myself stop the negative thinking and the dwelling on things that I couldn't change. Dwelling on past treatment is and always will be a waste of time and energy. Now, I am able to catch myself, stop and then re-look at things more objectively and think things through more carefully, which is a challenge especially when you're a Gemini...
The positive thinking has made big changes (literally!) in my health. With fewer hours on the clock, I now have more time to exercise, do less stress eating, and I've lost FIFTY pounds so far. I barely get sick now, I've stopped some medications, and I have so much more energy to do things.
As I make these gradual changes, I am now trying to get back into my creative stuff. I've been watching the postcount on my last post count about the questionnaire skyrocket at a rate i never expected. I still am surprised and humbled that people would find it so interesting. So please accept my most sincere thanks...
I've looked at that post as not just a list of difficulties from back then, but as a tool for planning where I want to go, and used it to get myself rolling again.
I've been working on a small story about a little boy having an adventure with some fireflies, am working on a new tmnt story (based loosely from an RP that I've been involved in forever), and am trying to get back into drawing again. I've been creating designs for my brother's fledgling blacksmithing business, but I want to get back to creating stuff to share on here. I've always done TMNT, so that won't change. As much as I want to post original stuff here, I'll always have a soft spot for the boys in green. And heck, I miss drawing Splinter the most! I've always liked drawing my dino OC, but she
will be updated a bit... so yeah, I'm definitely working on several things.
I hope everyone else's years have been productive as well.
Hopefully I'll be sharing some new things very soon...
~Machias